


When You Love Somebody But Bite Your Tongue (All You Get Is A Mouthful Of Blood)

by orphan_account



Category: Funhaus RPF, Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Character Death, Drabble, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-17
Updated: 2015-06-23
Packaged: 2018-04-04 20:35:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4152018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"He never got to say "I Love You". He screams until he tastes blood."</p><p>James loses Bruce, then he loses himself.</p><p>(Now with a playlist so you can cry with sick music in the background: http://8tracks.com/blankbrain/all-you-get-is-a-mouthful-of-blood)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Their heist was going well, until it wasn't. In a room hazy with falling dust, James can barely make out the dark shape of the security guard that has managed to corner him. It was all going to plan until their explosives went off too early, knocking James and Bruce into a secluded area and trapping them with this weedy security guard. Blinded by the bright light of the bomb, winded and choking on dust, James was too slow to the chase and now, now he's facing down the wavering barrel of a gun with Bruce nowhere to be found.

Everything seems to move in slow motion as this small-time guard, too scared to do anything else, pulls the trigger. All James has time to recognize is the bang of the gun and then a dark shape barrelling into his side. He has enough time to register 'terrible t-shirt' and 'muscled arms' before time speeds back up to normal, crashing James into the ground. The spotty guard, so terrified that he actually managed to fire the gun, is stuck in place, staring at his shaking gun hand long enough for James to pull his own out. Operating automatically, he fires off round after round into the man, his blue uniform turning red, gun clicking empy in the silent room.

There's a silence ringing in his ears and all he can see is an ugly shirt bleeding red, red, red. He crawls over the rubble of the bank room but he can't feel the metal digging into his skin, he can't taste the dust or smell gunpowder he's breathing in, all of his senses are commanded by the body before him, Bruce and red and coppery tang.

The next memory he has is of something warm and soft enfolding him. The towel draped around him does nothing to still his shaking, shivering shoulders. He's wet, his hair stuck to his temples, and someone has obviously helped him shower. There's soap suds hanging off his fingertips and he's wearing different clothes. Someone has scrubbed him down, he can still feel the roughness on his skin, a warm, scratchy redness along his arms and chest. They hadn't quite managed to get all of Bruce's blood of his hands though.

Time passes but James never quite recovers. They never got Bruce's body back, and so they have nothing to bury and nowhere to bury it. James doesn't let anybody mess with Bruce's room, and steadily the flowers in his room wilt and die and rot. Lawrence throws them out one day, tosses a jug full of sludge and rot down the sink, and James cries and screams until he's hoarse. He gave those flowers to Bruce on their first date, just the morning of the failed heist.

He never got to say "I Love You". He screams until he tastes blood.

James gets lazy, too carefree and lackadaisy with his movements. He turns off his earpiece one day, and forgets his gun the next. He does it with purpose. The next week Adam checks over everyone before the heist, as usual, and finds James, sitting on Bruce's bed, wearing none of his protective gear and holding a gun in his hand. Adam orders him off the mission that day and James puts up no fight.

James insists he's fine, after some time, and he joins back on. He works fine for the first run, until he just. Stops. He's run away from police down a back alley towards where Spoole is waiting with their getaway car, and he just stops running. Every corner he turns he sees the shadow of wispy hair and cargo shorts and he's just so tired of chasing a ghost. He never told Bruce how he made his heart feel. He can't even think of hearts anymore without thinking of bullets and dust and blood. He slows his run down to a walk, drops his gun, and starts shedding his layers. Off comes his mask, then his chest armour, by the time he's reached his shirt he's at the car and he's surrounded by police. The night ends with a huge fire-fight and Lawrence yelling, screaming, "You could've gotten Sean killed! You were meant to watch the area, not keep watching out for ghosts."

James leaves the house that night with Lawrence's words rattling around in his skull. He picks fights until his knuckles are bloody and his cheeks are bruised. Slumped in a dirty back alley, broken glass and still warm cigarette butts gritty against his skin, he doesn't even raise a finger when some kid in a tattered hoodie demands his wallet. When the cold barrel of the gun hits his temple he doesn't even flinch. His phone is ringing out a call from Adam, from Lawrence, wanting to just know that he's okay. The gunshot calls out in answer.


	2. What Is That Song You Sing For The Dead?

Lawrence grows cold after James’ death, he snaps more easily and speaks less. Staring down at his laptop one day, he whispers "We all know how this will end" to a startled Adam.

“What?" Adam asks.

"Hmm? Oh, nothing." Lawrence replies.

But it rings in his head, he knows that everybody’s going to die some day, every road has an end, and where will he wind up? He's a sinner, he knows, but he has nothing to prove. He knows that the others blame him for James' death. He has to even the scales, and when he sees the police searchlights peep through the blinds in his room, well he knows just how he'll repay his debt.

Lawrence disappears one night. No-one knows where he went. Joel was on his way over to Lawrence's house to pick up a new shipment of supplies when he saw the flashing lights, painting the muddy street blue and red. He ran back to the safe house, he knew that the gold rings on his fingers would instantly give him away to the police. They wait the night in silence, waiting for Lawrence to call, to let them know he’s okay.

They couldn't find him, he wouldn't answer his phone, and when they returned the next day, his apartment was burnt and empty. One morning, a few weeks later, the gang, down three people and missing morale, scour the newspaper for a new target. The article on the front page catches their eye. A familiar pair of glasses lie, smashed almost beyond recognition, on a police morgue slab. The hand dangling out from under the blanket is familiar too, long fingers and a square palm that used to wrap around the x-box controller in the front room are now empty and cold. The photo is tinted blue but they can still recognise his pink lips and steel eyes, smeared with blood, greyed and empty.

Joel throws up his breakfast as soon as the realization hits him. The toilet bowl porcelain is cold against his skin, and it makes him wonder just how long it will be until he's lying on one of those cold steel tables too.

Only a few weeks later, Adam drowns, trapped in their escape car. Joel watches the car skip over the road barrier, flipping end over end, crunching horribly until it slides down, down, down, into the ocean. He sees Adam’s petrified face through the window, eyes wide, cheeks drained of colour. Adam was always scared of the ocean, Joel sees why now.

Joel sees Adam's face every night when he tries to sleep. He wakes up every night to a water drenched Adam straddling his chest, forcing a water logged fist down, down into Joel’s throat until he can’t breathe. He screams himself awake, throat hoarse and scratchy. He pleads with Matt to kill him, to fix this, to right his terrible wrong. Matt refuses to kill Joel, and Spoole tries to break up the ensuing fight. Somewhere, something goes horribly wrong. A loud bang, a muffled gasp, and Matt is bleeding out on their apartment floor. The blood rushes out of him like a river meeting the ocean, he gasps once, twice, and he's still. They didn’t have time to save him. They didn’t have time to say goodbye.

Joel throws himself off the bridge where Adam jumped the railing, meeting him in the cold, dark depths. He dies before he hits the water, at least that's a saving grace.

Spoole moves town, moves cities, moves from state to state. He dies, cold and alone, shivering in a water logged, mouldy cardboard shelter. No-one remembers his name, his death is a six word obituary, printed where no-one will read it. "Homeless man dies behind Hilton Hotel"

There is no funeral for the unknown boy. His hat and clothes remain in the morgue collection box until one day they're thrown out, along with the rest of the trash.

A man finds them the next day, a tattered red hat in a grubby dumpster, and he knows he’s too late. He only has a few things left of his old family and he takes the hat home in his pocket. Adam had to leave them, he knew that he’d been bugged and followed, he had to leave without telling them. He had to leave immediately, they couldn't know. And from far away he watched as the crew crumbled, different members go missing until only he's left. He knew Spoole was out there somewhere, he just had to find him. The tattered hat, stinking of death and formaldehyde, joins his collection.

Eventually everything fades until it's just Adam and his memories. Eventually they fade too.


End file.
